Narrowing Focus Haiku

Dollar Photo Club

warm sunshine day

the grass is a kelly green

jungle kitty plays


© Carol Campbell

Logo Carpe Diem March 2016 (2)

Chevrefeuille is teaching us the haiku technique of narrowing focus. He says,

Today I have another nice HWT for you which was frequently used by Basho and here is the haiku on which this episode is based:

a morning of snow
only the onions in the garden
blaze the trail

© Basho (Tr. Jane Reichhold)

This HWT we have seen earlier here at CDHK, I think it was in our second series of CD-HWT, but then I introduced it as a regular HWT and not specifically used by Basho. In this month we are trying to improve our haiku writing skills by looking at the haiku writing techniques used by Basho and by doing that I hope we will try to compose our haiku in the way of Basho.

This HWT is called Narrowing Focus and it was used often by Buson (1716-1784)) because, he as an artist, a painter, was a very visual person. Basho and earlier poets were completely comfortable in using this haiku writing technique.
The above poem starts basically with a wide-angle lens on the world in the 1st line, then switches to a normal lens for the 2nd line and zooms in for a close up in the end. The technique sounds simple, and when done well it’s very effective in bringing the reader’s attention down to one basic element or fact of the haiku.
In this poem Basho added another element to the technique with the idea that the close-up image – the trail at one’s feet – is covered up with snow so it cannot be seen.

in the moonlight
Wisteria flowers look fragile –
a gust of wind

© Chèvrefeuille

❤ ❤ ❤




Published by: writersdream9

I have been writing all my life but for the most part, it has been a secret. My parents did not believe writing was a good way to earn money so I hid my poems. Then one day, I wanted to comment on an essay that a friend had written and found myself with a blog. That quiet whisper inside said, "You can write your poetry and no one will ever know.". I knew nothing of followers and the like at that time. So, here I am trying to learn my craft and enjoying every moment of it. My personal details are, I'm 57, married for 39 years, have one grown son who is God's gift to us and last but not least at all, I'm a Baha'i which basically means that I love all humanity.

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